damn commies

so in news lately, mccain and other conservatives have been accusing obama of wanting to “redistribute wealth”…like it’s a bad thing.  damn that socialist who wants wealth to be more fairly shared by society!  how dare he decrease inequality!

anyways, i was going to write a long post about how great many aspects of socialist and communist philosophy are….but i’ve decided to leave it at this:

“Let the man who has two tunics share with him who has none; and let him who has food do likewise.”-Luke 3:11

when rubber hits the road

as a college student [whoa this is in past tense], the biggest lifestyle choices i made for justice were becoming vegan, buying only used goods, trying to get as much food from farmers markets as possible, and walking or bus-ing almost always…and each of those were difficult, but as they became routine, they became great sources of joy

but grown-up life poses some new challenges…stronger temptations. 

 

my dream is to become a doctor, and my parents would have paid for an mcat test prep course. 

          but God reminded me of my friends who can’t afford those. 

my graduation gift from my parents was a new car, which was very generous. 

       but God reminded me of my friends in Haiti who walk across mountains and valleys with baskets on their heads, and if necessary, pile 20 into the back of a tap tap.

my parents helped me open a retirement account, and wanted me to put it in a mutual fund.

       but God pressed my heart to be steadfast in detracting myself from the economy of injustice and greed.

 

and what surprised me the most was how all three of these things were so tempting.  even after 2 years as an ids major, a broken heart in long beach and haiti, and an award that says i’m more courageous than that.  but they were also so very exciting, because i no longer critique the “real world” from a college student’s theoretical bubble, but from the position of a (young) adult stepping out on her own, committed to opting out of injustice and into holistic love.  it’s exciting to see the temptations come…and pass…and seeing the beauty of God that remains in their absence.

and while the next 3 months will prove extremely interesting as the first completely independent months of my life, the training wheels God gave me this summer have equipped me well.  in the big temptations, and more importantly, in the smallest, most insiduously ordinary choices, remember the poor.

so i haven’t written in awhile cause it has really been crunch time studying for the mcats, which means it makes sense to write this now right? when then test is 36 hrs away? right.

the experience of studying for the mcats has taught me a lot about myself, since i dont think ive ever applied myself to something with such patience, balance, and perseverance in my life.  but what ive learned most is that…

in 41 hours i will be done with my mcat and still loved by God more than i can comprehend

in 41 hours i will be done with my mcat and i will still be living in a ridiculously frustrating and self-centered country

in 41 hours i will be done with my mcat and my heart will still be in haiti

as much as i want to be a doctor to care for the poor, it kills me to be here right now, to be studying for a stupid exam while 1 million haitians are homeless right now.  1 million! that’s a ninth of the population! can you fathom 33 million americans being displaced by a storm? and it kills me to be focused on equations instead of helping win this swing state for the candidate that will treat those haitians, and others like them, decently.

and it all makes me wonder if i can become a doctor, whether it will be worth it in the end.  whether there’s a quicker-but-just-as-effective way to love the poor.  and my hope is that God will find me a medical school where i can be living and serving the poor at the same time, because i simply will not survive 4 years in suburbia or academia.  my soul and my hope will most definitely perish.

and so it is that the mcat has become the most anticlimactic event in my life.  when i started studying 2.5 months ago i couldnt fall asleep because i would think about the studying, and now i cant sleep because i cry for suffering that i cant alleviate and close-mindedness i cant reason with.  the world is crumbling in inequality and absurdity, and my hope is dissipating.  but i’ll hold onto melin and chelie and marie-love in my prayers and mind, and pray that they’re still there when i get back.  that they dont think i’ve deserted them.  that this studying will help them someday.

blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth

 

it is in the meek that i see the face of God.

it is in the beauty of simplicity that i see wisps of God’s kingdom in the air.

it is in the spirit of peace that i feel love’s radiance humble me.

it is through art that i breathe in God, as her creative light glints through the prism of my soul.

and tonight i pray

that we might look towards the meek, the peaceful, the simple to inspire our lives,

and in doing so, intertwine with the spirit of God that dwells in humility.

 

 

 

at the start of his 10 minute interview in beijing, president bush sounded quite intelligent with his promotion of constructive engagement and respect as keys for future relations for china

 

but things started to go downhill with his response about china’s ascension to power and the u.s.’s recent faultering:

          “First of all, I don’t see America having problems.”

                                   hmm. that just might be our biggest problem.

 

and then he continued to demolish the brownie-with-chunks-of-respect points i gave him for the first 5 minutes, with his assessment of the violence between russia and georgia:

            “It was just interesting to me that here we are, you know trying to promote peace and harmony, and we’re witnessing a conflict take place.”

                    are you JOKING ME? YOU’RE AT WAR! 

and oh wait, it gets better

              “There needs to be international mediation for the South Ossetia issue.”

                       YOU INVADED A SOVEREIGN NATION WITHOUT ANY INTERNATIONAL CONSENT!

 

 

here, let me grab that plank for you.  they can probably use it over in the diving arena.

 

maybe i’m behind the times, but i just discovered this GREAT column from the online magazine The Slate.  the journalists do the nitty gritty calculations of every complex, nuanced environmental quandry you could think of.  i really appreciate these articles because it provides the quantitative facts that make us unable to evade our environmental impact.

 

so go ahead, read a few articles and respond with your lifestyle

 

 

love always trusts

 

you say, hoping that i’ll believe you

hoping that i’ll heed your Spirit and forgive

hoping your love for me is enough to overcome this new hurt

hoping that this new tangle in the world of tangles will be undone and not added to

 

because there was a time i cried

on a plastic-covered couch

in the mountains on a far-away island

where i had no one but you

no voice but your Spirit

no comfort but your love

 

and it was enough

 

it was enough to drive out all the loneliness and hurt

to purge my heart of bitterness

and to forgive them for being human

and with tonsils the size of golf balls

i experienced the breath of peace

 

but a year has passed

and the breath has ceased

wind knocked out of me by a lie

 

a lie i knew the moment it was uttered

but that i ignored because i trusted

a lie that had been growing for a year

and i kept trusting, kept loving

which was mistaken for naivety, stupidity

just like the four before

 

but i see right through it

a blessing and a curse

as is love

 

but you made love and life in spite of these curses

so i’ll journey to find what i lost

huddled among redwoods

 

another reason why walmart sucks, indeed

 

today there was a butterfly trapped in between the window screen and the window.

she had been fluttering like mad for days, but i never looked because i thought she was on the inside of the house, and i didn’t want her jumping out at me.

i cranked the window open to let her out.  all the way open.

and for an hour i waited for her to fly away, claim her freedom, but she didn’t.

after the hour i had to close the window because air conditioning was on in the house.

at first i thought “what a stupid creature”, and then i realized

no, i completely understand her.

God has been continuing to restore my hope for meaningful, revolutionary, and loving community.

 

this week i went to a house meeting for the obama campaign, hosted by 2 christians from texas.  go figure.  they say that they’re only christian because of their environment, but at their core they just believe that everyone has a spark of divinity inside them

 

and there we sat, talking about issues that are important to each of us…worries and hopes…from ages 18-60, men and women, white and black, genuinely caring about the state of our country and its devastating effects on the world.

 

and i realized…i don’t have to forfeit idealism for pragmatism….the latter is best way to achieve the former in some cases.  and that was something i really needed to learn.

 

denver convention 08 here i come!